How to wing it!

It’s been a while since my brother Bo made this video request and we do apologize for the delay. We hope this will make him happy: Kurt reads Frank Zappa’s “Dreamed I was an eskimo”:

Today I want to write a little bit about something that I call conversation starters. I’m actually writing this post because I suffer from social phobia which is a condition where you fear social contact – so trying to find ways to break the ice with strangers is something that I find quite useful and I thought it would be a good idea to make a list for others in the same situation and you can actually use this list whether you are going out on a first date, going to a family gathering or something else. In any kind of social situation this list is good.

First off, remember that all conversations have three phases:

a. Introductions
b. Conversation
c. Farewell

Introductions are usually quite easy. You shake hands and ..
say your name. It’s a good idea to start things off with a quick smile as well – this shows that you are an open and friendly person which is always a good start for any conversation.

Next comes the general conversation. This is where I usually fall flat on my face because I simply cannot find anything to talk about and I fall into this trap: when the other person is trying very hard to get a conversation going with me by asking interesting questions, I am very busy inside my head thinking about the things I should be saying so I don’t hear what the other person is saying! It’s a common thing for people with social phobia – “I have to think of something to say or this person will think that I’m stupid”. While all these thoughts are going on inside your head, the other person is trying hard to get the conversation on track.
Usually people will give up talking to you and your worst fears will come true: yes, you really are weird to talk to!

This is why a little list of starters might come in handy.

It’s a good idea to look at your surroundings. Can you find something there to talk about? Maybe you are both waiting in line for the toilet – a good thing to say would be “there’s a lot of people waiting here today, huh?”.
That starts off the conversation was something you both have in common: waiting to pee!

Another thing to comment on could be the other person’s outfit. Find something you like and say “I really like your boots” or “that’s a beautiful coat, where did you buy it?” . These are great conversation starters and people always love when you say something nice about them

Of course there is always the old “how are you today?” – but only ask if you are really interested in knowing. Personally I hate when the lady at the supermarket asks me how I’m doing. I am probably the 500th person she asks that morning and she can’t possibly be interested in how I am doing. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask – but if you show a little bit of interest this is a good way to get a conversation going.

Does this seem a little odd to you? Making a list about what to say to a total stranger who might approach you? For people who are naturally outgoing this might seem a little odd. What’s so hard about making conversation? Well, there are some people to whom the social scene is terrifying and we need a little help breaking the ice.

If you want to get into a conversation that’s a little heavier, you could think about a current topic – maybe something you’ve seen on TV or – if you want to make it really heavy – get into politics!
On a lighter note, how about mentioning a movie you just saw at the cinema?

Now if you are anything like me the problem is not only getting a conversation started but also keeping it flowing. This might be one of my biggest problems. If people ask me something I’m very likely to answer yes or no and thus the conversation ends very quickly. To keep the conversation flowing is something I am always struggling with and it’s not that I’m not interested in what people have to say – it’s the fact that my brain is working so hard while they are talking that I sometimes don’t really hear what they say and so I don’t know what to answer!

Now let’s say you walked into the local fast food place and you sit down and have a burger. You notice that there’s a family sitting at the table beside you and the kids are playing with the PlayStation that the restaurant has put in place. Now the dad turns to you and says:

- My kids love to come here because they can play on the PlayStation!

This is where I would totally freeze up! At my most intelligent and outgoing hour I might say  “okay ” or  “yeah it’s fun to play on the PlayStation ” which makes me sound like a total idiot , I know .

What could I say instead ? Well , I might ask if there are other places in town who have the same service for kids. Or I could play dumb  – just to get the conversation going  – and say  “I don’t really know what you do on a PlayStation ..”  and the dad would certainly inform me about it . Or I could let them in on a more personal note : “yes my son loves the PlayStation too”.

It’s very easy to sit at home and come up with answers but trust me when I’m in the actual situation , I sound like a total fool .

Another thing to remember is that just because people lean over towards you and make a comment like this , it doesn’t mean they are willing to go on for a half an hour about the origins of the PlayStation . You need to make it short and friendly and end it gracefully .

Getting away from the conversation in the fast food place could be saying “I am running late but it was so nice to meet you, enjoy your meal”.

Then smile.

That’s it. Short and friendly.

Little tips like these sometimes help me in social situations and like I said, you can use these tips in any social scenario. I hope you found them helpful as well.

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My mom and son are sitting in front of the TV watching the Denmark-Sweden football game. And I am sitting a little further away behind my laptop but listening to the game. I am not really a football – or any kind of sport – person but my nine year old son is in love with the game so I told him it’d be okay to go with me and watch the game with his grandma.

The last week has been really busy for me; I’ve been out of town and I’ve been jumping rope and playing the excellent game of badminton with my son. We are so bad it’s ridiculous but it’s a ton of fun! I guess I know what we will be doing in our summer vacation now. Practice makes perfect, that’s what they say, right?

Some big, exciting news too! Sue from The Sue & Steve Show (visit the link in our link bar on top of the page) has been kind enough to check out our podcast and she gave us some nice pointers which we will try our best to follow.
I sure wish we had some good podcasting software but it costs a bundle, it seems. I know there are free programs but I really want a pro one! Cos when you use pro software, you feel like a pro. I think. Anyway, when I get more time available I will be podcasting more and trying to improve things.

I will be back tomorrow with Moore

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. Mark Twain

Source: http://quotes4all.net/quote_1437.html

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Hey peeps, I’ve been out of town for a few days and haven’t had time to update the blog but now I am back and have a bit of time to write a few thoughts down – before I fall off the chair from exhaustion.

I saw Barack Obama’s speech on TV today and I remain in awe of him. He is a born speaker, incredibly well spoken and a true leader. I am sure he will do great things for America and the rest of the world. Amazing man.

If you missed his speech, you can watch it here: http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/obamaforamerica/gGGGhZ

Another urgent thought: I really must get a tan. I wore short black trousers these past few days and my very bright and aware son said: “Mom you look like a chess board, black and white”. I must get a tan, I must get a tan..

Not the most interesting of blog entries but don’t expect more from a pale white, Danish, extremely tired woman.

Thank you.

Quote of the Day:
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
–Steven Wright

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Click to play video.

Well this just speaks volumes about A. How bad my cell phone is at recording a video clip and B. How much of a project I consider cooking to be: It needs to be recorded! Geez.

Anyway, it was a leek/ham/onion pie being made tonight and I’m eating it right now. It’s actually quite good.

And the final result, ladies and gentlemen:

Not too shabby.

A little update: It also speaks volumes that Windows Live Writer has chosen to turn my video upside down for some reason?????? Ha ha ha..

Some songs you just gotta hear at full volume:

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Maybe I am mistaking but I seem to remember a time when there was not only beautiful women on television but also natural women.. and every single advertisement was not about sex.

I know, I sound totally old and outdated but there is just something really wrong (in my head, anyway) with the fact that thongs are being sold to 10 year old girls, Bratz dolls are dressed in fishnet stockings , young girls are having their breasts made bigger and young pop singers who have a huge responsibility to their fans demonstrate that if you’re not having sex at 12, you’re just not cool.

I realize that children are also sexual beings but things sure have changed since I was a little girl. I’m not the kind of person who celebrates any kind of progress, especially not within this area because the fact is that young girls and young women are being bombarded with the image of the perfect woman and nobody can of course live up to that. If you’re being told by society that only the beautiful, skinny people are okay and you believe it, then you’re heading for trouble. Girls and young women starve themselves, they cut themselves, they suffer just to achieve something illusive: The perfect woman. They don’t consider the airbrushing, the makeup, the way the super stars look at home when they too are just regular people. Of course they don’t.

Sexualisation is a big problem for our society, I think, pushing girls (and sometimes boys) to inspect their own bodies with a very critical eye, thus helping develop a poor body image. All this fascination and attention paid to the body might then in return cause her/him to forget about growing in other areas, such as socially and growing self esteem that is so necessary for getting by in the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a prude and I don’t have a problem with people having sex but I do have concerns about sexualisation which is something else – all of our surroundings being sexualized and girls/women starting to believe that they must be sexy, pretty, slim and look a particular way to be okay as a woman.

Beauty is many things. It is most definately only skin deep but unfortunately our society worships skin and skin alone. It is getting harder to raise daughters with confidence and pride in themselves as beings instead of pride in their looks.

It’s a shame.

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I have been a big fan of Amy Grant since I was a teenager. I can even remember the exact moment it happened. I was sitting in my grand parents’ attic and looking through some of my aunt’s record and she had a big collection of Amy’s music. I listened to the Age to Age album and was just immediately in love with her voice. It’s so beautiful, the lyrics are profound and her music always makes me feel peaceful. That’s a big deal for someone like me who is prone to anxiety attacks.

A bit of news from Amy: She now has a Twitter account! I am of course following her..highly excited by this news

Also it’s possible to read Amy’s blog and comment..I am just as excited by that. Visit her blog here.

Amy Grant has an EP out for Mother’s Day (She colors my day).

Now, I know it’s not Christmas but I have to post this because it is SUCH an achievement!

Go Amy! Faster, faster..LOL.

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I am a big lover of horror movies and of course the Hannibal Lecter series is one of my absolutely favorites. Anthony Hopkins is such a brilliant actor.

It can get pretty ugly watching these kinds of movies..so it’s good to know that the cast and crew actually have fun sometimes:

Cool.
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I get my news from the Internet.

Well, mainly cos I can only get one channel on my TV – if I put my antenna at exactly the right angle. But I do sometimes pick up a free newspaper, though..

There’s something entirely different about having breakfast and reading a newspaper. I wouldn’t want to tell my grand kids : “When grandma was young, we had the news printed on paper”!

I suppose if I want newspapers to stay around, I should sometimes go and actually buy one. It just seems a little extravagant now that I can just read the news online..then why pay for a paper?

It’s an interesting debate.
Where do you get your news?

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