How to wing it!

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I think this is the first dentist appointment I have ever looked forward to! My God, I have been in such agonizing pain this weekend; it’ll be a total pleasure to sit myself down and be tortured for a few minutes. That’s nothing compared to the Hell I have been through..

Today at 1.10 PM.

Prayers are welcome.

Image by vincos via Flickr

Its now time for each of us to become our own spiritual master. We each of us have in ourselves the ability to become Enlightened. We are all in fact deeply in contact with great wisdom and beauty and have only to open to what we already know.

The purpose of the personal spiritual search is the personal spiritual find.
Only you can find your own true path. You are the explorer on your own adventure.

Teachers, guides and companions will teach you things of great value,
but if anyone ever tells you that they have the whole truth or that you must follow only them forever, PLEASE consider carefully.

Real Spiritual leaders support free will and independent thought!

Your free will, your heart, your intuition, your mind, your soul are yours alone.
We are all one,we are all connected. We are also individuals.

Each of us responsible for our own thoughts, actions, enlightenment and joy.

This I believe.

This is not to say that I don’t believe in a Higher Power because I do. My Higher Power is God Almighty.

Who or what is yours?

Kurt Moore Larson.

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Good morning and happy Easter to all our blog readers out there. It’s Friday and it’s the day

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when I am supposed to mourn, think about my sins and try to bury them. Talk about a fun day. Easter is the biggest celebration in the Christian religion because we celebrate that our Lord Jesus rose from the grave – resurrection is a BIG DEAL for Christians Good Friday always had a bad feel to it for me, even as a child. Don’t know why because I wasn’t very aware of the significance of the day but it just seemed a bad day. Probably cos all the stores were closed!!

Right now me and my mom are the only ones who have resurrected in this house. The two guys are still fast asleep. I am sitting in my parent’s livingroom with my laptop in my lap (surprise!!) and I am really excited – right along with the mourning – I GOT A SMOOTHIE BLENDER YESTERDAY!

First of all the sound is really awesome. It’s kinda like a bright red super duper fast Ferrari taking off at high speed..Formula One or whatever..and it really blends like a dream. PLUS..uh huh that’s not all..it has a tap where you can errrm..how do you say it..well you can just put your glass under the tap, open it and then watch as your smoothie runs into your glass. It is so totally cool there are no words to describe it.

I am guessing this day won’t bring a whole lot..action wise. Am spending it with my family and quite possibly going back to my own place tonight for some serious laundry doing.

I know. Exciting stuff. Oh by the way, I very much dislike the whole chicken/egg thing about Easter. I’d prefer a fully Christian style Easter instead of involving poultry. How about you?

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Thoughts

I am famously anxious. Never on Planet Earth has anyone been such a worrier..

God has given me the mission in life to be concerned for EVERYBODY

What about U? What are U famous for?

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You Are a Believer

You definitely believe in God – and you’re very unwavering in your religious beliefs. In fact, religion and spirituality are definitely big parts of your life. Religion shapes how you view right and wrong, as well as the decisions you make. It’s hard for you to imagine how your life would be without your beliefs.

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I’m one of the many, many people in this world who suffer from a mix of anxiety and periodical depression. I also call myself a Christian and it wasn’t too long ago that I considered myself a bad Christian, one who lacked faith. I must have lacked faith since I could be so depressed and scared? Surely, if I believe that God is with me, He will look after me and I have nothing to be anxious about?

It’s an opinion that is unfortunately shared between lots of Christians. God above all, God conquers all in His own way and we don’t need psychiatrists, psychologist and medicine. We must be faithful and leave our lives in God’s capable hands.

Prayer will heal. Faith will heal. Spit out the meds.

It’s a very dangerous way of thinking. Would we consider a reverend to be weak in his faith if he came down with the flu? What about his congragation? Are they a bunch of non-believers if they feel confused, sick, have a broken leg? No, of course not. It sounds so ridiculous and yet lots of Christians judge each other so harshly: If you’re mentally ill, you are not trusting in God and you are not a “good” believer. It is time – on top of your illness and pain – to judge yourself for lack of faith.

Answer to God.

I can remember when I was at my most ill. Sitting on the bathroom floor wondering whether to swallow those pills or not, many times holding them so tightly in my hand that my knuckles went white. They would be sure to end my life. I was so close so many times. That’s the pain of depression and anxiety. Indescribable and inhuman. I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemy.

And yet in the midst of that pain, we suffer statements like “I thought Christians were supposed to believe in God”, “You should pray more” and “Just believe and you will be cured..forget the doctors, they know nothing..just turn to God”.

Frightening.

I do believe that God saves and I don’t believe I would be here if it wasn’t for God. He sent me Kurt who would listen and listen and help me stand up. He sent me the medicine that put a lid on my internal screams so I could have quiet for a while. He gave me my family and my son and my ex husband who are all good people and stay supportive.

God always helps but we must grab the tools He offers. Medicine, doctors, psychiatrist, psychologists, relatives, loved ones, friends, support systems.

We must reach out. “Knock and I will come in”.

I could still be sitting on that bathroom floor if I was waiting around for God.
I reached out for His instruments. His tools. His lifeline. And I am still alive.

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For a while now I have been wanting to write a little bit about faith. I’m not a person who feels the need to shout her beliefs from the rooftop. I never was. I guess faith is just something there is for me and not something that needs to be discussed much.

The only reason I want to write about what I believe is that when I look back it is my faith that has helped me through a lot of difficult situations in my life, even though I didn’t feel like I believed in anything during those times.

I suppose I should start by writing a little bit about how I became a Christian. The ways a person can discover God, if you can put it like that, are numerous and for me it involved a crush I had on a singer. He happened to be a Christian and I wrote a couple of letters hoping for a response – I know, it sounds stupid but I was a teenager with a crush!

Anyway, a lovely lady wrote me back and we got some correspondences going about faith and I can remember she sent me a leaflet about how to become a Christian. I suppose I must have been 16 or 17 at the time. So one night I asked Jesus to come into my life but it wasn’t until years later that I would start to understand the meaning of that.

What does a 16 year old truly know about the trials and problems that life can bring? I just thought I was really cool! During the past 10 to 15 years I have gone through some really hard times where my faith has been tested and many times I told myself that I hated God. I never stopped believing, I just stopped believing that He wanted anything good for me. I was lost to Him – that was my belief.

That’s when I met Kurt. He was working as a minister at the time and that’s actually how I met him because I was looking for a minister to talk to about my problems. We have been friends ever since and we share an intimacy and a knowledge about each other that is so precious to me. We have shared the most difficult and the most beautiful moments together . He is a friend in the truest meaning of the word and I am so blessed to have fallen in love with him.

I am doing so much better now although I still fall into my black holes and I get really anxious sometimes – I suffer from anxiety and periodical depression – and I gotta tell you, each time I would feel like I was dying and I couldn’t go on another second, I am certain God was there with me keeping me alive. I just know it.

I guess some people would wonder what do we need God for? Isn’t it better we have faith in ourselves and our ability to solve our own problems? One doesn’t necessarily exclude the other, I think. You can be a strong person and still need a crutch now and then. I suppose God is a sort of crutch.

There are just some things that we as human beings cannot solve on our own and there are so many things we cannot control. I find God to be a great comfort. I believe in something bigger than myself and I’d hate to think that we human beings are on our own because we are so fragile.

What do you think? Do we need God?

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Witches heading to Sabbath, Image via Wikipedia

Here’s my interview with reverend Kurt Moore Larson about witches:

Gitte: Let’s maybe start off with a little introduction..who are you (cos they have forgotten, you know)..and what do you do?

Kurt: If you’ve forgotten… My name is Kurt Moore Larson and I am a magician and a singer as well as a minister of the Christian faith… Pentecostal.

Gitte: This interview being about witches and witchcraft, I am going to ask you to define, what is a witch and what is witch craft?

At this point Kurt Moore Larson is blowing his nose..interview will continue in a bit…

Kurt: A witch is a .. I am drawing blanks..they are part of the old religion before Christ and they are not bad people, they just practice a different religion than Christians do.

Gitte: What do witches practice?

Kurt: They practice witchcraft which is all-encompassing with a lot of things. It depends on each individual witch. As long as you don’t hurt somebody, it’s pretty much okay to do anything you want as long as you don’t hurt anything or anyone.
That’s a pretty simplistic way of saying it but it’s true.

Gitte: Why do people think of witches as evil ?

Kurt: Because they don’t know them. The Christian point of view about witches is that you shouldn’t practice witchcraft because it’s not right with God.

Gitte: When did you visit Salem and why didn’t they keep you?

Kurt: I’ve started visiting Salem at a very young age. First time I went there I was probably nine. I used to go there all the time. The same thing with Plymouth Rock, that’s where we landed as a group of pilgrims. My folks thought it would be neat and I have always thought so, too.

Gitte: How come you have done photo sessions with half-naked witches?

Kurt: I used to be a professional photographer. It was a project with men as well.

Gitte: Thank you for the interview.

Kurt: You’re welcome.

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The Witch, Image via Wikipedia

Kurt has been sending me some drawings from the Salem witch trials and this has really sparked my interest in those proceedings. Kurt is working on a magic trick and that’s why he is also studying about the trials – hope I didn’t give too much away. Anyway, I have never really been interested in witches. As a kid I grew up with the image of the wicked witch who wanted to eat Hansel and Gretel and as I got older, I saw images of witches having intercourse with the Devil. To this day I am not quite sure exactly what a witch is

Then Kurt started telling me about the Salem witch trials and I became curious.

The trials occured in Massachusetts, of course, between 1692-93. Over 150 people were imprisoned for witchcraft and 29 were convicted. Nineteen were killed by hanging and one man was apparently crushed to death! What a way to go..

Of course in Europe we had out very own witch hunts, too. Between 1450 to 1750 an estimated 40,000 people were executed for being “witches” or involved in witchcraft, the executions often by burning.

Anyway, you can look at witchcraft through mythological eyes, religious eyes, historical eyes and there might be a million different ways of practicing witchcraft. Maybe I will ask Kurt to explain..he is a reverend, after all.

I call him Pastor Disaster.

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I’m back home after a harrowing train journey that lasted 4½ hours. The train was delayed for ½ hour from the station and when we’d been on board for ½ hour, they threw us out and left us waiting in the cold for AN HOUR! They didn’t even serve coffee or anything. When they allowed us to board the train that was an hour delayed, they offered free water – and get this – 100 milli-liter of water! I am so gonna get my money back for that trip.. Talk about poor treatment of your customers.

I see that my brother Lars has joined the evolution-creationism debate and he has really clarified some things for me. I knocked my other brother over the head the other day and called him rude which I take back now because it was a big misunderstanding. I now know I am not a creationist – I am a Christian – and I didn’t really know there was a difference. But my brother has now explained it well and I am beginning to see the light. So this is a thanks to my one brother and a so sorry for the other brother. I am not too proud to acknowledge when I’ve been a public ass. Let it also – in my defense – be noted that I’ve had a crappy week in which I cursed the day I was born.

Yesterday I went into a nice cafe – something I very rarely do – and I had the best cup of hot chocolate I ever had in my life. Oh my God, it was heavenly.

They gave me a cup of hot milk and then added a wooden stick with a round milk chocolate ball on the end..oh my dear Lord..that was so amazing.

This night I showered, I have my slippers on, my hair is wet and I am suffering from a slight heartbreak..again.

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